Spoiler: It wasn't "The End."
I realize that the majority of you who have followed my career in sailing through these blogs likely think I retired from the sport back in 2020. I also realize the my last blog I sent out 3 years ago, dramatically titled “The End.” after falling short of qualifying Canada for an Olympic spot for Tokyo may have been a contributing factor in that…
Well, after 3 years, this felt like the right moment to share an update on what I’ve been up to and what is coming up. Although I’ve been quiet, that doesn’t mean nothing has been happening. I’ve been working hard consistently over the last few years, and more recently have started to see it all come together. I also have some very exciting news to share. But, I guess I should start from the beginning - or rather where “The End.” left off.
Growing up in sailing, my goal was always the 2020 Olympics. Why? Well, the Olympics because it is the pinnacle of sport. And 2020 because objectively 2016 was impossible, and nobody could convince me the same about 2020. I set that goal as a 12 year old kid back in 2009 with no clue what it really meant, but also a crazy level of determination to make it into a reality. It was always a time confined plan: put aside everything else, dedicate myself solely to becoming the best in sailing, go to the Olympics in 2020 (and win) and then retire, go to school and start real life. Well, one lesson that I’ve learned the hard way is life usually doesn’t go how you plan it. And no matter how hard you try, or how much you wish, things will happen in life as they are meant to happen. It is what is in your naseeb as my grandmother would say.
When I “failed” to qualify for the Olympics in 2020, my default next step was to move on from sailing. Sailing just never was part of how I had pictured my life post 2020.
I put “failed” in quotation marks because if I was talking about it back then, that is black and white what it was. I set a goal and didn’t achieve it. So I failed. But, it’s incredible how perspectives can evolve over time. Now, when I look back on what I accomplished in those 10 years, from being a kid with a dream- but no sailing ability, to one of the best in the country and coming so close to going to the Pan Am games or being an Olympian, even I sometimes can’t believe it. And, I was personally there for the whole thing! It’s incredible how far we can reach by simply taking the action of putting one foot in front of the other. When I look back on that campaign now, I’m left with a lot of pride and admiration for what I did accomplish and what I did overcome to get there.
Anyways, back to my story. After not qualifying for the Olympics in 2020, I went home, spent about 2 weeks on the couch binge watching South Park and eating junk food. Once that lost it’s novelty, I got up and went and got a job at the only place that wanted to hire an uneducated ex-athlete with no employment experience - working as a door to door salesman for Telus business. I lasted a total of 6 days, didn’t even make it through my training, and then COVID hit and the world shut down. Without minimizing all the pain and suffering that many faced through this pandemic, the literal pause in the world was a blessing for me because it gave me an excess of time to think and process everything.
And as I thought and processed, it became very apparent that I was not done with sailing. This part of my life wasn’t over, and I couldn’t let myself walk away without playing this out fully and giving myself the opportunity to see what I was capable of.
I knew I needed to do some things differently - find more balance in my life and expand my self identity beyond simply being an athlete, but, the pursuit of my dream, that would continue.
With COVID, it was a slow start. Travel was hard and access to quality training opportunities sparse. For the rest of 2020 I spent a lot of time at home fitness training in my self made home gym, and did some sailing domestically in Canada with the other Canadian boys. Once 2021 came around, things started to get back to normalcy and I was able to do some international training blocks and also to compete. That fall, I made the gold fleet at both the Europeans and the Worlds for the first time - a sign that things were starting to come together.
In early 2022, I joined the national team program that Sail Canada had just formed. Although I had been a national team athlete since 2018, this was the first time that Sail Canada had the funding to put a full, professional program together that made sense to be a part of. Working within the federation together with the other Canadians was something new for me, but a positive change as it took a lot of responsibility off my plate. Amusingly, the coach of this program was Andrew Lewis - the Trinidadian sailor who had beaten us for that final Olympic spot in 2020. There was no hard feelings though. He had been the better sailor when the pressure was on, and the past is the past. He’s actually turned out to be a great coach for me and over the last year and a bit that we’ve been working together we’ve built a solid partnership. 2022 was my best year performance wise, hitting personal bests at every major event and solidifying myself as the top Canadian performer in the laser class.
At the beginning of this update I mentioned that I had some exciting news to share, and wanted to end this blog with that news. This past week, at the World Cup in Spain, we had our Canadian trials for the Pan Am Games. Meaning, the top Canadian at the World Cup would qualify for the games. I am happy to be able to share that I won the trials and will have the honour of representing our country in Santiago this fall. I feel very blessed to have this opportunity, and forever grateful to everyone who has been with me and supported me on this journey.
Thanks for reading and thanks for your support.
Fillah Karim